Crushin on

A looming black cloud

Like many seventeen year old's, these next few weeks can be pretty worrying, not knowing if you have to re take your alevels, finding out your results, the looming deadline of your personal statement, looking round universities

Everything can be very confusing and manic, yes MANIC is the word

I don't know about you but I feel way too young to start looking at university courses it was hard enough walking through the doors of sixth form and having to make friends again.

I am hoping to study some form of journalism when I go to uni, broadcast journalism would be my ideal course, however the thing that's holding me back is mainly FEAR, lack of confidence, being judged, being told you're not good enough and your whole aspirations and dreams falling apart

it sickens me

But surely this is what goes through every teenagers mind? We all just want to settle down for the summer, late nights out but instead we have this giant cloud above our head waiting to explode any moment

Is it normal to be petrified for the future?
What are your fears?

Here are mine:

  1. Not passing my aA levels, or getting the desired grades
  2. my confidence getting the best of me and not allowing me to do what i want to do in life
  3. not getting into my preferred university
  4. not getting noticed for my work 
  5. not getting any relevant work experience to make my personal statement stand out
However as teenagers we always tend to dwell on the negatives, so why not try a positive list of the hopes for the future?

  1. Go to university and do a course related to documentary styled work
  2. don't let my confidence get the best of me and prove to people I can be a broadcast journalist
  3. search for work experience which is really going to get me noticed in the industry
  4. chill out and not stress out
  5. look forward to what has to come
So this was just a quick blog of what's playing on my mind at the moment, it's all nerves in the pit of my stomach which is not going to disappear for a long time

But we might as well TRY to enjoy summer and worry about that at a later date