Crushin on

I'm back

Hey guys,

I'm back and I'm feeling a lot happier. I've realised it seems I'm giving up on blogging, but my determination will never fade. To any of you that read my blog regularly, I thank you for the support


For the last few weeks, I've been feeling mega mega down, I couldn't think of anything to blog about, I realised recent posts were barely reaching above ten views and you sit here and you think is it really worth it? But do you give up? no is the answer

Things that are getting me down for one would be, I'm not 18 so all my friends are out clubbing with fake i'ds and older sisters ID's and I'm to scared to even attempt to get in a club using someone else's ID, therefore friends get closer without you and you spend every weekend alone which makes you feel pretty damn sad. My other fear is the fear of looking so young, I have a real problem with it and therefore I don't think I will ever be able to order a drink because I'm scared of being laughed at. So there's my numero 1 huge problem

Other thing is not having a job, no money, no clothes, no money to go out and see friends is an absolute ball ache, if you enjoy not having money then I don't know how you do it. I like keeping up with the latest trends, the latest lipsticks and I haven't been able to do that for so long, so my appearance and style is deteriorating which makes me mega sad. And the amount of jobs I have been rejected from is not good so it gives me low self esteem to keep applying for more

Anyway, I may be the most negative person you have ever seen in your entire life, but I'm also someone full of determination. Things I am proud of, firstly is for getting my article on the food bank published in the local paper and school newsletter. I will never give up my determination to become a journalist ever, I stepped completely out of my comfort zone in order to do what I did, but I will carry on going.

Secondly I just applied for two jobs, one in Debenhams and one back at boots where I used to work. I actually really hope I get my job back because I do actually miss it and I think I'm a more mature person  now than I was before and I'll be able to hand things more easily. So fingers crossed

Please let me know of any post's you would like me to do, I love offering advice to anyone so please please please if I can help that would make me very happy

Ella xxxx