Crushin on

Falling for your flatmate?

It never even crossed my mind you could fall in love with your flatmate, but to be honest with you its quite inevitable. It happens, and if you're experiencing it trust me I am your no.1 gal to seek advice from. A lot of people will tell you NO, DON'T DO IT ' its the danger zone etc'. Do you know what I say? Don't listen to them. You're at uni now, you can make your own decisions and if people don't like them who are they to judge? Obviously if someone is mistreating you listen to others but if you honestly care about your flatmate on a deeper level, my first step is please don't freak out, I can help you.

I honestly never came to uni and thought right do you know what I'm going to fancy my flatmate. I don't think anyone does? The first thing I told the boys in my flat was you're all FLATTENED, and I think I caused karma for myself by stating that. Living with someone day in day out its almost impossible not to get attached. Moving to uni you do feel isolated, alone sometimes and your flatmates are the closest people you have to confide in. If you get on with one of them particularly well you can start to develop feelings and boom its a rollercoaster from there.

A lot of people at uni are all about casual relationships and one night stands which is fine obviously thats going to happen. I've never been that sort of person and I don't think I ever will. I either prefer being completely alone or be with someone on a longterm basis. Before coming to uni I had, had a year of meeting complete idiotic boys (thats the politest I could put it) who messed with my self confidence, weren't interested in anything serious or had the cheek of accusing me of leading them on. Well waved goodbye to them a long time ago.

Anyway falling for your flatmate comes with pros and cons, like any relationship.

The nicest thing about being with your flatmate is you have that one person that can make you happy by your side day and night.

However living with your flatmate that could potentially be your boyfriend or seeing each other obviously has issues. The issue of space and alone time, tension and arguments you can't run away from because you live with each other. Jealousy of closeness with other flatmates, the issue of not staying together and having to live with each other for a year.

My advice would be if you can't potentially see a future with this person you need to stop the fling before feelings get to deep. I'm the sort of person who gets quite attached and you can imagine my pain of falling for someone I live with.

If you don't want anything serious with the other person STOP it before it goes any further and don't go back because you can't go round in circles for the year.

Should you care what others view of your relationship? No, the relationship is between you two and no one else you shouldn't have to feel like you're in the wrong if you're seeing each other. Don't sneak around or pretend each other don't exist.

You will find a lot of people are in a similar situation to you, you feel completely alienated and almost that its so wrong like you're dating your brother or something. Honestly there is no issue dating your flatmate as long as you both work out for definite what you want.

Like any relationship get to know the person before you really settle for something serious, it took me and my now boyfriend 4 months to actually work out what we wanted, again like any typical relationship but when you live with that person it can be hard to work out if you like spending time with them because you have to see them everyday or you actually want to be together.

Literally my biggest advice is don't let anyone try and stop you from being with your flatmate. You can do what you want it shouldn't affect anyone else and if it does sit down and talk to them about it.

I'm completely content with my situation and I know a lot more are too

Never listen to others you can be the judge of your own relationship x