Crushin on

What's it like being a girl on a nightout?

I don't want to scare those of you who haven't entered the nightclubbing scene yet because going out is really fun and you will have so many fab memories but on the other hand you have to make sure you stick with friends at all times. Never be alone, I can't stress the importance of this.

Before uni I used to go out with a fairy large group, we would always stick together and because everyone knew each other in the club nothing unusual ever seemed to happen. I was never a huge huge drinker but when you come to uni you find you're going to be going out a lot more and drinking ALOT more. Don't stress about that tho

So before people start thinking I'm grouping all men and boys together, I can assure you I'm not, this is the minority of men on night outs but sometimes it can be the majority in the club. 

So recently I have been more aware of how uncomfortable men make me feel in clubs, in some occasions I have been reduced to tears, and I think what have I possibly done to make them think I'm even the slightest bit interested in them? I don't stare at them or dance with them, I seem to attract unwanted attention off some of the most creepiest men I've ever met.

There have been many occasions I have felt very uncomfortable and wanted to go home. The first one happened a few months ago where a man in his 30's approached me at the bar and asked if I wanted a drink, I politely refused hoping he would walk away, instead he started complimenting me and becoming very sexual. He started to invade my personal space and was very close behind me, it got to the point I couldn't even move away from the situation, he started whispering in my ear and surely you could tell by my body language I was not comfortable. After a very awkward 10 minutes of this man pressing himself up against me my friend managed a distraction method. The worst thing was no one helped. If you saw an older man attempting to chat up a young girl and you could see the fear and anxiety on her face would you stop to help?

There are too many incidents in clubs where girls are accused of being suggestive just because of the way they dress, drinks being spiked, men grinding, grabbing girls. It needs to stop. I for one do not feel comfortable with the idea of 40yr+ men being in a club with young university students, surely there must be a cut off point for allowing older men into clubs. Again I am not saying this is all men, but why would you want to be in a club with a load of young people? The girls are not interested. It sickens me so much to the point I have been very rude and upfront with me who have grabbed me or started feeling me up. It makes me question are they married do they have children? Or why isn't the bouncer helping?

If you ever find yourself in a situation where a man will not leave you alone just stand with another group of people. Don't go off alone there have been so many cases where young women have been abducted. Secondly don't feel like you can't escape from the situation, push them away and if they won't let you, use force.

The reason I am writing this post is due to the fact of what happened to me and a friend the other day. We went out as a pair and it seemed to be a night where men over the age of 40 were possessing all the clubs. In the first club we kept getting groped or men trying to dance with us which we just moved away. However in the second club a group of men in suits were watching all the girls, grabbing them, grinding on them or just staring up and down. Every time these men approached us which they ended up circling us we moved away, however he grabbed my friends hand trying to pull her back which is when I told them to do one, obviously said in a different way but trying to keep this post polite.

We then went outside sickened by what we were experiencing inside and feeling complete alone, it was like the rest of the club saw it as the norm, that we were asking for it. We were then approached by two guys, I would say they were about 28-30. The way they introduced themselves was by saying to me ' I think you're beautiful' and to my friend 'He thinks your gourgous'. We were clearly not flattered by these compliments and awkwardly shrugged it off being polite and began to move away. This is when they started to try and talk with us, asking about our courses, etc. After telling them we pretty much weren't interested and they were wasting their time in the politest way possible they still didn't get the point. One of them said to me I wouldn't refuse him and I find him attractive regardless of the fact he knew I had a boyfriend. I politely said once again sorry but I'm in a relationship, moving away again they started 'sexual banter' and again people around us could see we felt uncomfortable but still didn't help. They said they would wait for us and didn't understand why we were scared of them so they clearly knew they were making us feel uncomfortable. 

If you ever find yourself in any of these situations, please do at least one of these things 
- Pretend to be on the phone
- Stand with another group of people
- Go to the toilets, toilets are always full of people
- Tell the bouncer or bar staff

Don't:
- Think what they are doing is acceptable, its not 
- Don't tell them any details about you, not even your name, you have no idea who these people are
- Be alone, don't isolate yourself

I hope this post doesn't scare those of you entering the nightclubbing scene, I just want to make sure you are aware that not everyone in this world are decent people and especially not with a drink in hand 

                                                                    Ella x