Crushin on

Will I ever accept who I am?

I'm going to be 19 in 3 days, 19 and still unable to look at myself in the mirror or say something positive about myself. Its sad isn't it really, sad that I've wasted the majority of my teenage years obsessing over my appearance which no one else can see any issues with. Obsessing to the point of making myself so depressed and tired from crying.

I think the worst thing about not being to accept who you are is that others don't understand why. WHY do you hate your reflection, WHY can't you see you're actually attractive. Its impossible for me to describe how I feel on the inside, its like asking someone why do you have a mental illness, its hard to explain unless you're that person or have experienced it yourself.

My appearance has held me back, ruined my confidence and made me miss out on opportunities I hate myself for missing. It shouldn't have to be like this. No one should have to feel like that. As I've grown older coping has become easier, I began to realise your face doesn't determine your path in life and that the way you feel no one else can see an issue. This blog has stemmed on everything I have experienced growing up. In my last year of being an official teenager I want change. I've grown so far from how unconfident I used to be, but I'm still badly affected by a silly reflection that doesn't change what people think of me. The reason I write these posts is to help others who feel the same or have no one to talk to about it.

I think the worst thing you can say to someone who doesn't accept themselves is ' are you stupid, there's nothing wrong with you' just because you can't see anything wrong with that person does not for one second change how they feel on the inside.

I am someone who has always hidden behind the camera, I hate my reflection in cameras which is making it increasingly harder for me to start a youtube channel, because I can't accept my reflection and feel people will pick up on it.

If you're anything like me understand that you can cope with it, accepting yourself is the hardest thing possible but you're not ugly, you should never try and alter yourself because other people can see through your sadness. Please don't waste your teenage years crying over a reflection, there are so many better things in life

                                                                   Nutella x