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Losing a bestfriend? SOME TIPS

Having a best friend is pretty much the best thing ever right? Constantly having someone to talk to when your down, a good cry over stupid boys, the endless bitching sessions, the shopping trips and someone who is pretty much another version of you? But what if you start to lose closeness with this best friend, it can feel like the worst thing in the world. You may lose them to a boyfriend, over a boy argument or just grow up and drift apart. We have ALL been in that situation and for me I feel like I've encountered this dozens of times as I've grown up. So if your feeling sorry for yourself, feeling alone and dwelling why you weren't good enough for your friend, grab a hot chocolate and read this post. 

The problem with me is I get TOO close to people TOO fast. I mean I can literally know someone a week and all of a sudden they are like my sister and I never want to lose them. This is a mistake I made growing up, I invested too much time on friends who didn't give it back? I have and will always be that friend who will reply instantly, I don't care if I'm literally on my death bed if one of my friends is sad or in a horrible situation you can count on me that I'll reply literally as they type. But that's the kinda person I am, I hate people feeling alone and upset, hence why I love writing advice posts. But I noticed all the time and energy I invested into certain friends growing up was very much one sided. I suffered a tremendous amount myself as you are aware of, I never had a friend I could tell that. In fact I've never really opened up to anyone but my blog about my anxiety and body dysmorphia. That's the amazing thing about blogging you can write everything down. 

I had one friend who was exactly like me, suffering from a range of mental health problems, I was there for her constantly but when I tried to tell her how I felt it was completely dismissed. 

Regardless how people treat me I will always be the better person and be there for them whether or not they do the same at least I can say I was the better friend.

So you may have a best friend who is completely one sided and literally the whole world resolves around her, your issues are nothing compared to hers. My advice? Its unhealthy being around someone like this, continue to support them in every way you can but don't invest so much of your time when they don't give it back. Like any relationship, its important that its equal and not one sided.

I think the biggest issue most girl friends face is losing a best friend to a boy or a boyfriend. Thankfully I have never been one of those girls who trades all their friends in as soon as they get a boyfriend, because in reality not all relationships last and your friends will always be your rocks, so throwing them away is your choice but its a pretty lonely place to be in. I will never ever understand the girls who do this, can't even express how important it is to have someone other than your boyfriend. 

If you are losing your best friend due to a new relationship don't let her just walk away, there is no point getting angry because they will think you're jealous, talking is the best remedy and if she doesn't see where you're coming from, bin it, literally bin it. Girls like this aren't even worth your last breath, a boy you have known 5 minutes is nowhere near as important as a friend you've known for years.

As you can see that lil topic infuriates me the most out of any of these scenarios, it just baffles me why you wouldn't want friends. You have YEARS and I mean literal years to be in relationships settled down, you don't however get your clubbing days back, late nights with friends all the memories. 

I praise the girls who can keep a boyfriend and a friendship group, these are people you want to stick around.

The final thing you may lose a best friend to is a group of people who aren't the best, by this I mean a bad influence, this could be with drugs and drinking for instant. Its really difficult as a friend to know where you stand with this as you can't stop people from making lifestyle choices, you can try and advise but most of the time they will do it regardless. I remember when my friends started smoking I hated it, but I've learnt you have to keep your views on stuff to yourself or you get labelled 'judging' 24/7. 

So my advice for that is sometimes the way you feel is right but they won't listen so its best not to say if you don't agree with something they do. If they want to trade you in for 'better' people, obviously wasn't a true friend in the first place, keep that in mind.

Those are the main things I feel you can lose a best friend to, but obviously growing up is another huge one. We all move around, go to different universities, travel the world and as you get older you will find the amount of friends you had will get less and less, because you pretty much have NO TIME to see anyone.

Drifting apart isn't necessarily a bad thing like I've said, some friends are temporary, but keep the memories and move on. Don't dwell on the fact they aren't in your life anymore, just like with relationships you will find someone better. 

Its also more than ok to miss them and get upset, I know I still have times where I see something and I'm like I wish I could text this person about it. Sadly friendships ending is just what seems to happen in life.

I hope this post has helped anyone feeling down about a friend, talking and being open is always the best way to save any kind of relationship. Please feel more than free to contact me if you ever need someone. 

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