Crushin on

Struggling with a break up? Need some tips?

I don't know why but break ups seem to be so common at the start or end of every year and all I see is sadness everywhere, but breaking up isn't always the end of the world, it may seem like it for a while but there are so many exciting things yet to come. So here are some tips to help you be your independent, sassy self and feel like you again!

Independence:
I think that's the hardest thing about a break up, your so used to being joined at the hip with someone that once its taken away you have no idea how to function. For me I don't let myself get too attached, I'm still very much independent in my relationship and I think this is so important. Just because you get into a relationship doesn't mean you stop being or doing you, you just get to share the exciting and dull moments with someone else. 

So my number one tip, learn that being alone isn't that bad? Focus on your goals, maybe save to go travelling? You have to stop focusing on what you had before, its the past, move forward and do the things that make you happy.  Yes its fine to have the occasional break down and to bring out the photo album of you two, but its not the end of the world you will meet someone else and fall in love again.

Moving on:
The meeting someone else concept is hard for people to get their head around, because when you break up with someone you just feel worthless, ugly, you know all that good stuff and you never think anyone would want you again, well that my friends is far from the truth. 

I'm not sure what my personal view is about the right time to move on. I think everyone should move on when they feel its right but I do think it takes a reasonable amount of time to get over someone, regardless how long you may have been together.  If your the person who was broken up with, don't compare yourself to that new person. However hard it is, try and be happy they have moved on and hopefully one day you will do the same! It doesn't mean for one second that they never cared or loved you. 

Self love:
The most important part in a break up, learning to love yourself again. You may feel you no longer have someone to pick you up on a bad day, but how did you cope before? I can't tell you how important friends are and I hope you didn't push them away, no one can make me feel better than having a good chit chat with my friends or just being around them. Friends are permanent and sadly boyfriends aren't always. 

So, don't get into a negative mindset, don't start focusing on all your insecurities or comparisons to his new gf, just stop right there OK, because this is dangerous territory for your mental health. I would say the best thing to help you recover from this is to focus on upcoming projects, pamper yourself up and know that's its more than fine to get upset. 

Jealousy/stalking
Yes, us girls could work for MI5 when it comes to stalking. An ex is an ex ok, keep them as an ex, stalking them is fine, but not when it becomes obsessive or part of your daily routine. If you can stay friends with your ex then I'm proud of your maturity but the majority don't and we are all guilty of trying to make someone jealous or upset by posting pictures or sending tweets. So the best thing to do is not to stalk or focus on their life anymore because you may find things you wish you never saw, just not worth it!

Texting and staying 'friends'
OK, as I've said previously I admire the people who are able to stay friends after a break up but I only think this happens if it ended mutually. I think it would be unfair on the person you broke up with to continue texting or meeting them because they still have the feelings, you might only see them as a friend but that doesn't mean they do. I find with a lot of couples they struggle to stop talking and I get that, your so used to it and then you just stop and its like what do I do with my life now? But somewhere down the line it has to stop because you will both meet someone else, so I always think its best to stop contact when the relationship ends. 

So my top tips:
1) Focus on you
2) Keep distance from that person
3)Don't stalk
4)Don't use others to get over someone
5)Learn to love yourself again
6)Spend time with friends
7)Be motivated
8)Go to the gym or long walks, these are the best for distraction
9) FREEDOOOM
10)Be sassy, be independent and most importantly be you 

So I hope these tips make you feel a bit better about yourself, we've all been through break ups and the majority of us are still breathing. Just get your sassy self back and don't be fearful of this concept of being alone, you don't need a boyfriend to make you happy!