Crushin on

What I imagined myself doing at 20





When I was younger I always imagined I would have my life together when I entered my twenties, this couldn't be far from reality and do you know what? IT'S OK TO NOT KNOW HOW TO ADULT OR KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN LIFE. So I thought I would share the things my younger self imagined I would be doing once I turned 20.

1. Being indepedent with money
I really thought by the time I turned 20 I wouldn't have to rely on my parents anymore and I would have a decent income. I guess I didn't realise I wouldn't even see my student loan, mine barely covers my rent and a part time job wouldn't even cover my rent. So it's impossible to be free of your parents money for a long time.

2. Travel
I've always had the travel bug but never had the opportunity to do it because I'm crap with saving money and can't help but LOVE clothes. I'm scared it will get to the point where I won't ever travel.

3. Driving
Please kids get it out of the way at 17, just do it because one you turn adult you have literally 0 time and even less money. I so wish I could just get into a car and see friends or just take myself on outings. I know it would benefit my mental health so much if I could drive.

4.Being able to see friends all the time
I thought by the time I was 20 I would be living with my friends and seeing them pretty much everyday. I think I forgot uni and life would get in the way of that.

5. Going to festivals
I always loved the idea of going to festivals when I was younger but here I am still a festival virgin and do you know what I don't actually want to go to one, apart from Coachella which looks insane. I've just never liked the idea of being surrounded by people in a tiny space but maybe one day?

6. Self acceptance
God my 14 year old self was praying by the time I hit 20 I would look in the mirror and be like HEY ELLA you're actually a pretty cool person but no, I think as I've got older my view on myself has actually become worse, especially when I hit 20. Maybe 30 will be my year?

7. Being able to cook a variety of foods
I remember my mum always saying to me I should start cooking when I was 16. Back then I couldn't think of anything worse but now when you cook the same 3 meals each week you kinda wish you experimented when you were younger.

8. Living in a city
I dreamed of leaving school and going to university in Paris. I was obsessed with Paris and I thought when I turned 18 I would flee England and become a Fashion Journalist. Hmm...we can all have dreams right?

9. Having my life figured out
I think most teenagers think by the time they turn 20 you just get life and know how to be an adult? Well...honestly the future terrfies me as I have no clue where or what I will end up doing. 

Things I didn't see myself doing?

10. Blogging
I never really considered blogging, I always wrote journals about my days and holidays but blogs weren't really around when I was 13/14. However, I did start at 17 and never looked back since.

11. Working with brands
Sometimes I have to pinch myself and think how the hell did I get to work with a highly popular fashion brand but I did it and it's one of my proudest achievements yet.

12. Travelling on public transport to places alone
Since I became a blogger I've had to go to cities like London and Manchester which are pretty daunting when you're on your own. I'm a very anxious person when alone so for me to have conquered this fear is pretty cool. 

13. Going to University
I could never pass my Maths at 16 so I had uni crossed out in my head as apparently it was a must you passed maths to get in.This couldn't be far from the truth. I know people who go to Uni and don't have a GCSE in maths. Don't let a letter determine your future! (I did pass in the end).

So these are some things I thought I would be doing at 20, let me know if you can relate!